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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145166">home is wherever u r, chenle</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunglele/pseuds/sunglele'>sunglele</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chenji canonverse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, a bit of mutual pinning, a few dreamies too, am i blinded by love or is chenle just cute?, chenji struggling with their feelings, felix appears woaaah, i think thats it., tons of fluffy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:15:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,058</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26145166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunglele/pseuds/sunglele</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After they shared their first kisses, Jisung can't help it but daydream about Chenle 24/7 </p><p>Will the boys be able to maintain their new relationship without nobody noticing it? </p><p>Or better: will Chenji be able to handle those feelings?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chenji canonverse [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1891303</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>home is wherever u r, chenle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>am i blinded by love or is chenle a bit cute there made me write this fic, have fun!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jisung was sitting on the couch watching the latest Chenji this and that episode on TV. </p><p>The boy was having the time of his life, laughing at the smallest things that Chenle was doing so widely that his cheekbones were hurting a bit.</p><p>
  <em> Why is he so funny? He's like the funniest person in this world… </em>
</p><p>It's been just one day and a half since they shared their first kisses and Jisung was surprisingly cooler than he imagined he would be. He didn't panic nor tried to cut the boy off and even sent him a good morning text, in which Chenle replied back with dozens of heart emojis, apparently everything was just fine, just two close friends that happened to make out the other day, nothing much to see.</p><p>Nothing much… other than Jisung fanboying every single time Chenle would simply breathe.</p><p>"God, why are you so cute? This sailor shirt is just a peak devastation… I don't think I can possibly end this episode alive!" Jisung said to himself as he squished his own head.</p><p>
  <em> Who am I talking to… are you okay there, Jisung? </em>
</p><p>He shook his head and grabbed his phone, pondering if whether or not he should text Chenle but quickly changed his mind because for him it would be just stupid to rant about somebody's cuteness to the person in question.</p><p>So he did something totally usual that for sure Chenle would never find out: vented about his cuteness on Bubble to all of his thousands of fans there. — message that quickly spread all over the internet, for millions of people.</p><p>“Why is chenji this and that so funny? Is this being blinded by love or is it because Chenle is a little bit cute there...” he typed without thinking and sent the text to all of his fans.</p><p>
  <em> It's not gonna be a problem, right? Fan service… yeah all idols do that, that's just pure fan service, and the fans will love it!  </em>
</p><p>One minute later he was already being bombarded with billions of replies from dreamzens, some yelling about how cute they are, some questioning him, and a few saying that they were jealous. </p><p>Jisung had fun reading it all, besides being with Chenle, interacting with his fans was actually one of his favorite things to do in his life, and he really loved the fact that they had that platform to bring all of them closer to him.</p><p>After getting tired of reading so many texts he just threw the phone onto the couch and resumed the video, to enjoy a bit more of Chenle's adorable face, however, not for too long, because one minute later Jeno appeared in front of the screen with a smirk on his face.</p><p>"Am I blinded by love or is Chenle just cute?" Jeno busted into laughter. "Seriously, Jisung?" </p><p>"Hyung! I am watching!" Jisung said frustrated. </p><p>"Oh, please… it's literally your video? you were there when it was recorded!" Jeno said as he walked forward until he was in front of Jisung. </p><p>"Yes, but—"</p><p>"—You miss Chenle."</p><p>Jisung looked surprised at Jeno, eyes widely opened." </p><p>"Um… Yeah."</p><p>"Please…" Jeno sat next to Jisung. "Y'all be moving like you're one person, sometimes even I think you're even in love!" Jeno said laughing loudly. </p><p>Jisung felt sick in the stomach.</p><p>
  <em> What if I am… is that a problem?  </em>
</p><p>"Ah… right… I just really appreciate his company, I guess." Jisung said, trying to laugh but it just sounded awkwardly weird.</p><p>"Um… valid, just call him over then." </p><p>"Maybe I will, Hyung."</p><p>Jeno got up and gave Jisung soft pats on his back.</p><p>"Right, going to my room now, lemme know if you need anything?"</p><p>"Yeah." </p><p>And like that Jeno left the living room, leaving a Jisung who was before completely chill about everything, kind of concerned. </p><p>He turned off the TV, grabbed his downy blanket and laid back on the couch, trying to feel cozy underneath the covers, which worked pretty well since it was a really soft blanket, the warm and comfy sensation relaxed the boy, making his mind fly high to the day before, when he was with <em> him </em>.</p><p> </p><p>◇ </p><p>                                                               </p><p>
  <b>The day before.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jisung slowly started to wake up because he was  feeling cold. He opened his eyes, finding the most lovely scene he could ever wake up to: an asleep Chenle wrapped around his soft blanket like a little cinnamon roll right in front of his eyes. </p><p><em> Right… last night happened… Chenle and I made out… okay…  also, when did he steal my blanket? I'm freezing here man! </em> </p><p>He rubbed his eyes since his vision was still kind of blurry and approached a bit to see him more clear.</p><p>The boy was softly snoring with his lips slightly parted and bangs covering his eyes, he was also holding hands to his chest like a little angel figurine, Jisung found that the epitome of being lovable, so far the purest and prettiest thing he had ever seen in his life.</p><p>
  <em> When I think that you can't be lovelier, you do shit like this, Chenle. </em>
</p><p>Jisung moved one hand to the boy's hair, combing it gently to the left so that he could finally see Chenle's pretty eyes, not resisting to just look, he moved forward and pressed a quick kiss to his forehead, making the boy finally wake up.</p><p>"Um… Morning…" Chenle said, in a low tone.</p><p>"Hey, good morning, beautiful." Jisung said.</p><p>Chenle looked at the boy and then at himself, finding out that he stole the blanket.</p><p>"Oh God!" He unwrapped himself and quickly placed half of it onto Jisung. "Sorry… I kinda do that sometimes…" </p><p>Jisung gigged, then moved his hand to the boy's waist, pulling him closer.</p><p>"It's okay, but now you'll have to warm me up!" Jisung said laughing. </p><p>Chenle nodded and tucked his head into Jisung's chest, then hugged him tightly.</p><p>Jisung was joking about wanting Chenle to warm him up, of course, but he couldn't help but feel an extraordinary warmth run through his veins to have Chenle glued to his body in such a beautiful morning like that.</p><p>Chenle hummed something inaudible as he rubbed his forehead to Jisung's neck. </p><p>"What did you say? I didn't understand…" </p><p>"I said that this is nice…" Chenle said against the boy's neck. </p><p>"It is indeed."</p><p>Jisung took his hand to the boy's chin then sealed his lips on Chenle's for a few moments, but unfortunately, their fun was interrupted after they heard the sound of a doorknob opening, making both of them separate immediately. </p><p>Renjun stepped in finding the boys staring at him with a terrible guilty look in their eyes.</p><p>"Oh damn, you guys… were you watching rated things or?" Renjun said chuckling.</p><p>"What? No, of course not!" Chenle yelled.</p><p>Renjun raised his eyebrows at the answer, smirked and moved to his own bed, once lying there, he kept judging the boys with his eyes.</p><p>"Um, whatever… I'm having the worst headache right now and I just took a painkiller so, whatever you were doing just do it quietly because this room is also mine and I really wanna sleep now." Renjun said rashly.</p><p>Jisung and Chenle look at each other for a few seconds then shrugged, going back to the covers, but not long after Chenle's phone rang with a notification of his father saying that was on his way to pick him up, he sighed and once again left the warmth of Jisung's soft blankets. </p><p>"Hey, my dad is coming to pick me up, come with me downstairs?" he said to Jisung.</p><p>Who kicked the blanket getting up fast as a bullet.</p><p>"Yes, of course."</p><p>They went downstairs walking arm in arm, neither of them knew why exactly, maybe an attempt to enjoy all the last minutes they still had together or maybe it was just the morning laziness speaking, either way they really wish they could make the night before and that morning last longer.</p><p>Once they got in the living room, they found their hyungs still asleep all over the place, a few on the rug, others on the couch and somehow Hyuck sleeping on the kitchen counter, a real mess that Jisung for sure wasn't willing to clean up.</p><p>"God… they really got drunk and wasted." Chenle said laughing.</p><p>"Yup, might blast Somi's what you're waiting for later to wake them up." Jisung said.</p><p>They laughed together as they headed to the front door, where they were going to say goodbye, — just for one day, because they still have daily practice. </p><p>"See you tomorrow, then…" Chenle said in a tiny voice.</p><p>"We have late practice tomorrow… I'll only see you at night, too much time…"  Jisung said, frowning.</p><p>Chenle rolled his eyes at the drama then stole a quick peck from the boy.</p><p>"Drama king." </p><p>"Humpf, can't even be cheesy anymore…" </p><p>"I swear I-" his phone beeped, his father's text telling him that he arrived. "Shit, my dad is here… gotta go now, but I'll text you, okay?"</p><p>"Yeah, sure." </p><p>And like that Chenle left the house, leaving behind a lonely Jisung with five very hangover friends.</p><p> </p><p><b>End of flashback</b>.</p><p> </p><p>◇</p><p> </p><p>"Park Jisung!" Jaemin yelled as he snapped his fingers in front of Jisung's face.</p><p>"Oh, hey, what?" Jisung sat quickly on the couch, feeling a little dizzy after the sudden movement. </p><p>"Damn, I've been calling your name for one minute straight, where were you at?" Jaemin crossed his arms, scolding the boy.</p><p>"Um… sorry, I kinda spaced out for a while… what was it?" </p><p>Jaemin sighed but quickly softened up, — he could never stay mad at his baby. — then sat next to the boy.</p><p>"I was saying, we're off to practice now!"</p><p>"Oh" Jisung jumped off the couch. "Sorry, I'll go get my stuff and—" </p><p>"—No, I said <em> we </em> as in Renjun, Jeno and I, you're staying! manager hyung said you still have to rest."</p><p>"No, hyung! I gotta go, I wanna go!" he said, complaining.</p><p>"No, baby! Chenle is also staying at home, so maybe call him and I don't know... do your kids stuffs?" Jaemin said, patting Jisung's head.</p><p>Jisung's expression changed abruptly after he heard that Chenle is also staying at home.</p><p><em> Well, I have no fucking reason to go, then. </em> </p><p>"Oh, sure hyung…" Jisung said as he laid back on the couch, putting his legs on Jaemin's.</p><p>Jaemin giggled and rubbed the boy's thigh softly.</p><p>"You're such a cute baby, you know that, right? I know you're sad and I really love how hardworking you are, but rest, okay? Once you're healed and ready to dance again, You'll still be my favorite dancer in this world, not only mine but to a lot of people out there, okay?" Jaemin said in the cutest tone.</p><p>Jisung giggled, Jaemin would never fail in making him feel better, and he was really grateful to have such a caring hyung in his life, although dancing was the last thing that went through Jisung's mind in that moment, but he did feel sad for not attending the practice.</p><p>"Okay, hyung! Have a good practice!* </p><p>Jaemin hummed an okay back and carefully grabbed Jisung's legs, left the couch and delicately placed his legs back onto a cushion, then he gave the boy a kiss on the top of his head and headed to his room, to get ready for Dream's practice.</p><p>Leaving Jisung once again alone with his thoughts.</p><p>The boy sighed deeply as he covered himself once again with his soft blanket, the blanket that was still smelling just like him.</p><p>He wanted to see Chenle, to be with Chenle, but how could he, though? how could they keep it low-key without making their hyungs notice that something else is going on? he didn't know, and he couldn't think of anything else other than if he was really capable of dealing with those feelings and the consequences that would probably come along with it.</p><p>30 minutes later Jisung was left alone in their dorm, the boy sighed in relief as he snuggled up under the warmth of his comfy blanket.</p><p>Don't get him wrong, he loves his hyungs a lot, but sometimes all you need is a moment to yourself, so that you can listen to your thoughts clearly, right?</p><p>However a sudden ring brought Jisung back to reality, he grabbed his phone and saw on display that it was Chenle FaceTime-ing him, he quickly picked up, seeing his friend with a sleepy look on his face, also lying on his couch.</p><p>"Hey!" Chenle said cheerfully.</p><p>"Hey Lele…" Jisung said, slightly shyly.</p><p> Chenle giggled.</p><p>"So what are you up to?"</p><p>"Um… nothing much? I was just being lazy on the couch, watching youtube and stuff..." Jisung said as he sat back on the couch, to show a better angle of his face to Chenle.</p><p>"Um… youtube videos you say…" Chenle said playfully.</p><p>"Yeah?" Jisung said, confused.</p><p>"I saw your bubble text, Jisung."</p><p>Jisung turned pale as snow, looking incredulous at the screen.</p><p>"D-Do you have my bubble?"</p><p>Chenle squeaked.</p><p>"Baby, twitter exists for a reason." </p><p>Jisung hummed something and then looked down.</p><p>"Come on… don't be shy! That was cute, though." Chenle tried to stop giggling, but failed.</p><p>The younger boy sighed, shook his head then returned his gaze to the screen.</p><p>"What can I do if you're too cute to handle?" </p><p>And there was silence.</p><p>Chenle stopped breathing after hearing those words, feeling his stomach flip inside of him as Jisung regretted saying what he said, having an urge to throw himself off the window.</p><p>"Ahm…" Chenle said, trying to reach out for words.</p><p>"No, just… forget it—"</p><p>"—No!" Chenle yelled. "I mean, it's fine, thank you? I like when you… compliment me." He grinned.</p><p>"Oh…" Jisung softly smiled. "Good to hear that…" </p><p>They stayed a moment giggling a bit until Chenle's face expression turned into a very serious one, he took a deep breath and speaked:</p><p>"Actually I called you to talk about that night, Jisung…"</p><p>Jisung gulped.</p><p>"Oh… yeah, I really think we should talk…" </p><p>"I enjoyed it, a lot! It was really nice and honestly I have no regrets about it, but…" </p><p>Jisung felt his heart freezing and his palms starting to sweat, making him almost drop the phone onto the couch, but he kept a long face, waiting for the boy to continue. </p><p>"I don't think that this can… work…" Chenle felt his voice crackling in the end of the sentence, but still managed to deliver the message, </p><p>Jisung didn't say anything, instead he nodded, swallowing hard those words as he tried to not let any tear fall down.</p><p>"Jisung… We can still be friends… right? I don't wanna lose you, you're really important to me and—"</p><p>Jisung hung up on him. </p><p>Then threw the phone away only hearing a sound of glass shattering, but that didn't matter, because nothing was more broken than his heart at that moment.</p><p> </p><p>◇</p><p> </p><p>Chenle screamed curses out loud after he noticed that Jisung hung up on him.</p><p>He was so incredulous that it actually happened that he didn't know if he was feeling anger or sadness, but either way, it was hurting like a son of a bitch.</p><p>He left the couch and headed to his room, angrily stomping every step he took, making the wooden floor grunt a little. He entered his room and slammed the door rudely, then jumped onto his bed where he hid himself underneath the covers.</p><p>Where he was finally able to break down.</p><p>And he did. </p><p>Chenle wasn't the type that cried easily, he has never been, even on his worst days he'd just swallow all his feelings as he tried to get over whatever was bothering him as soon as possible, however, how could him fix the fact that his best friend, one of the most important people in his life, somebody he'd kill for, is now hurt because of him? how could he keep on with his life knowing that things would never be the same again? How?</p><p>
  <em> That was a mistake, that night was a mistake… now I fucked with our friendship big time! </em>
</p><p>The boy hugged his pillow and let his mind travel to his favorite memories with Jisung.</p><p>Like how they started talking because they had ipods matching colors, or the times Jisung would sit with him to help him out with his korean assignments, when they found out that they actually first met when they were kids on a show in China, when they went to Shanghai together and so many others.</p><p>All the times they argued over something and Jisung would just smile at him and tell him how cute he looked angry, all the laughters and tears they shared, all the precious moments they had that nobody could ever be close to comprehend how much it all meant to Chenle.</p><p>How much <em> he meant </em> to Chenle. </p><p>He tried to make himself feel comfortable, cuddled with his pillow, snuggled up into his sheets, tried watching funny videos on youtube, even asked his mom to make a hot cocoa for him, but never could make him feel better, nothing could make him feel less empty. </p><p>Overwhelmingly empty, although his mind was too congested with all the sorts of things.</p><p>Mind full, heart empty.</p><p>Moments later, he decided to do the only thing that people do when they go through a heartbreak: vent to a friend.</p><p>But he knew that it couldn't be anybody from his group, he didn't want to cause any drama like splitting the members or making things even worse between him and Jisung, so he called his closest friend from outside Dream: Felix.</p><p>Felix picked the call after a few rings.</p><p>"Hey, Chenle! What's up?" He said cheerfully.</p><p>Chenle sighed deeply over the phone.</p><p>"Um… I'm like shit right now, hyung…" </p><p>"Oh?" Felix who was in the living room with his members eating, but after hearing that he knew that he'd need more privacy, so he headed quickly to his room, locking himself alone there. "Why, baby? You wanna talk?</p><p>"I don't know… I'm scared you'll… judge me…" </p><p>"Oh dear…" Felix hit his head against the wall softly. "Listen, I suppose that you called me because you can't tell your members, so it probably was something that happened inside of Dream… did you fight? We're all young I'm not going to judge you for doing stupid young shit—"</p><p>"—Jisung and I made out last night." Chenle said all at once.</p><p>Felix squeaked over the phone.</p><p>"On God? Oh my God! Y'all are so cute I always sensed something between you two!" Felix said as he jumped all around the room.</p><p>Chenle couldn't help but giggle a little, Felix was a nice friend, indeed.</p><p>"Um… yeah it was nice, I enjoyed it a lot but I…. called things off like 1 hour ago?" </p><p>Felix stopped jumping.</p><p>"Bitch, you <em> what </em>? Are you stupid?" </p><p>"Pretty much, yes…" Chenle said, frowning.</p><p>"Oh no… Oh baby, don't… Oh God what do I do…" Felix rubbed his hand on his forehead, trying to think about a way to help his friend. "Okay, first of all…"</p><p>"I need you to understand that, those feelings are normal, okay? Feeling attracted to a man, while you're a man, is normal. Second, Jisung and you have been friends forever so it's normal that you acted out, maybe afraid of losing his friendship? But I really think that you two should talk things out, ya know? maybe not right now since everything is very recent but, if you want to be with him. Be with him. We're idols, we all have our private lives off screen and you won't be the first or the last guy to date a member in secret." Felix said.</p><p>Chenle listened word by word, trying to let it sink inside of his brain and things were getting slowly clearer there.</p><p>"Hyung, it's just… so many possible consequences that I'll have to… embrace, you know? What if I put my team at stake? We just survived from that damn company wanting to disband us, also our friendship, and this country is homophobic as shit, it's just—" </p><p>"—Would you rather live a happy life having to deal with a few things that might happen to you two or live miserably because you let your thoughts and fears control and consume you alive?" </p><p>Chenle didn't reply, because he didn't know what to.</p><p>"Think about that, yeah?" Felix continued. </p><p>"I will, hyung…" Chenle said, with his voice very weak, almost a hum. </p><p>"Keep me updated and I'm here if you need anything, okay?"</p><p>"Okay… now I'll go sleep a bit, my head is hurting a lot… but you really enlightened a lot in my head, I thank you for that." </p><p>"Not a problem, baby. See you."</p><p>And the call came to an end.</p><p>Chenle groaned loudly as he spread himself on his bed, in an attempt to take out of his body all of those thoughts that were killing him, then he collected himself together again as he cuddled with his pillow and closed his eyes, but he didn't sleep, instead he thought about every word Felix told him until he felt asleep exhausted from his overthinking.</p><p> </p><p>◇</p><p> </p><p>It's been 3 days since the phone call that shattered both boy's hearts. </p><p>Fortunately — or maybe not. — they were still on a break due their injuries, so until now, nobody realised that they had a fight. Only them two and Felix knew about it all. Jisung didn't call any friend to tell about what happened, he preferred to swallow it all and force himself into getting his shit together.</p><p>Although that wasn't really working out for him, at all.</p><p>But neither of them dared to try to contact each other.</p><p>And that was killing them inside.</p><p>Chenle couldn't text or call him, afraid that I'd make things worse and Jisung wouldn't dare to try to talk to him, since he was certain that the boy didn't want him to be any close to him, both terrified, letting themselves suffer because of something made up in their heads, only for being both too proud to be the first to contact the other.</p><p>Back to Jisung, the boy was in Jeno's room playing video games on his computer, Jeno and the rest of the dreamies were again off to practice and Jisung was feeling more than overwhelmed for being locked up in that house for so many days.</p><p>He was trying to get as immersed as he could into his video games, for brief moments it really was working, but not for too long, because apparently, more things reminded him of Chenle than he knew, and that was driving the boy crazy.</p><p>After losing the game, Jisung angrily punched the desk as he pushed the keyboard away almost causing the mouse to fall off the desk and carrying the computer monitor with it, he rested his back against the chair and faced the ceiling, taking his both hands to his face, rubbing it carelessly. </p><p>"I am fucking exhausted. Just leave my fucking mind already, I just wanna move on!" He yelled to the ceiling. </p><p>But of course, it was the ceiling, it wasn't going to reply to him back. </p><p>"God, please make it stop…" </p><p>He let his body slide down the chair until he was practically lying on it, his back was going to hurt later but he honestly didn't care, all he wanted was to shut his feelings down.</p><p> </p><p>◇</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>One hour later.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Jisung expected a few things for that night, like being completely lonely, eating something extremely salty that he'd order later, maybe play another game or even cry a bit to sleep, but somethings he for sure wasn't counting on to happen was his phone suddenly ringing to announce that Chenle was calling him.</p><p>The boy quickly sat straight on the chair, cleared his throat, also tried to fix his hair but for no reason since it was a voice call only, — the nervousness didn't let him think straight. — he counted 1 to 3 and picked the call with his hands uncontrollably shaking.</p><p>"Jisung?...." Chenle said, whispering.</p><p>"Hey, what's up?" Jisung said, dryly.</p><p>"Um…" Chenle sighed. "I miss you." He simply said.</p><p>Jisung's heart dropped, and so did Chenle's. </p><p>"Oh." It was all that left Jisung's mouth. </p><p>"Listen…" he could hear Chenle's heavy breath. "Jisung, I miss you… and I know that what I told you wasn't nice but, I was terrified, okay? I did what I believed in my heart that was right but… I had a lot of days to think and — I was wrong." </p><p>"What does it even mean…" Jisung said, confused.</p><p>"I was wrong to call it off." </p><p>Silence. </p><p>"Jisung, can you please say something? Anything?"</p><p>Jisung was too perplexed to say anything.</p><p>The boy had his jaw clenched, one hand holding the phone stronger than he should, and the other holding onto the chair arm close to rip its leather.</p><p>"Are you playing with me, Zhong Chenle?" he said, the anger in his tone was evident.</p><p>"What? Obviously not? Why would you think that? Are you okay?" Chenle said, concerned.</p><p>The way that the boy was reacting was making Chenle feel like garbage.</p><p>He hated phone calls and how he had nothing but the boy's intonation to read the room, but considering his harsh words and dry tone, he was sure that Jisung wasn't happy to hear his words, at all.</p><p>"Do you have… any idea… about the hell I went through the last days, believing that I made the biggest mistake of my life? I haven't slept in so long, Chenle! and you call me and say that you were wrong? What am I supposed—"</p><p>"—Don't you fucking think that I also went through a lot? Damn it!" Chenle yelled the words out of his chest, making Jisung instantly get paralyzed.</p><p>"Jisung, this whole thing, everything we went through, is new, okay? Neither of us know how to deal with it and it's okay… There's nobody to blame!" Chenle said, this time with a softer.</p><p>Jisung once again stayed quiet. But he was no longer so tense.</p><p>"If you're still willing to try, I'd like to as well. I have no idea how, but we can figure it out…"</p><p>Jisung slided back onto the chair, this time to the floor, where he laid and spread his whole body around, feeling a weird sensation of dizziness take over his body.</p><p>"Yeah… to be honest, being without you is unbearable to me." He admitted, in a tired tone.</p><p>"Good." Chenle giggled. "I was thinking… come over to my house tomorrow? A sleepover would be fun!"  </p><p>Jisung smiled to hear Chenle's incredibly singular giggling.</p><p>When did you become so necessary for my well-being… without you I'm clouds and storms, but at the moment you appear, it's all sunny and freshy…</p><p>"Sounds fun!"</p><p>"Okay then, I'll pick you up with my mom tomorrow!"</p><p>"I'll be waiting for you."</p><p>And it was all silent again, but this time a kind of silence that they were used to, the 'I'm just here enjoying your company' silence.</p><p>"Okay then, baby.  Gotta go know but sleep well, yeah?"</p><p>"You too!" </p><p>And like that, they finished the call.</p><p>This time with both of them feeling their hearts at ease, they weren't sure what would happen in the next day but they were looking forward to it.</p><p>That night they went earlier than usual to bed, just to make the time pass faster so that they could be together again, and this time they'd work hard to not let anything get in the way of their feelings.</p><p> </p><p> ◇</p><p> </p><p>It was around 9 am when Chenle woke up.</p><p>The boy checked the hour on his phone to see if he overslept, but happily, he didn't, then spreaded himself all over his bed to stretch his body and after a few moments finally got up to eat something.</p><p>After breakfast he told his mom that Jisung was coming over, the woman practically jumped off the chair saying that she didn't prepare anything for him and went running to the kitchen to see what she could cook for her favorite friend of her son.</p><p>Chenle ran after her saying that she shouldn't worry because he was planning to cook for Jisung himself, the woman eyed him trying to read the boy, but gave up, just shrugging her shoulders as she went to grab the car keys. </p><p>On their way to Dream's door, Chenle couldn't stop smiling, making his mother both happy and curious, but slightly more confused since Jisung had gone to their house before and that was the first time she had seen such a wide grin on Chenle's face at that early hour in the morning for such a simple reason like picking up a friend.</p><p>"You really like Jisung, huh?" said Mrs Zhong.</p><p>Chenle rested his head against the window of the car and let a sigh out.</p><p>"I do mom, I <em> really </em> do…" </p><p>The woman sweetly smiled.</p><p>The rest of their way to Dream's dorm was quiet and cozy, just Chenle with his thoughts as his mother drove humming random songs that the radio was playing.</p><p> </p><p>◇</p><p> </p><p><b>Later</b> </p><p> </p><p>"Chenle! This is not fair!" Jisung said as he rolled onto the rug of Chenle's room, they were playing video games and Jisung just lost to Chenle for the 3rd time that day.</p><p>"Not my fault you suck at it!" Chenle said laughing.</p><p>"Ugh, you'll pay for it!"  Jisung jumped onto the bed and started tickling Chenle, who tried stopping the boy by holding his arms but he was laughing so hard that his strength reduced to almost none.</p><p>Moments later Jisung felt bad for the boy and laid next to him, bringing him closer by the waist.</p><p>"Sorry." Jisung said, touching their foreheads together as he giggled.</p><p>Chenle gave him a weak punch on the stomach, then wrapped the same arm around the boy's shoulder, hugging him tightly.</p><p>"You suck, Park Jisung!" </p><p>"Do I now? Do you want me to tickle you again?" The boy smirked</p><p>"No! Stop! Seriously…" Chenle said, whining.</p><p>"Why are you so cute… this isn't fair with my heart, you know?" Jisung looked into the boy's eyes, then moved his hand to the boy's bangs, combing it gently.</p><p>Chenle felt his stomach dropping, burning, flipping, swirling… it was a mess, he was a mess. </p><p>And that was when he remembered all of Felix's words, but especially about one specific question.</p><p>
  <em> Would you rather live a happy life having to deal with a few things that might happen to you two or live miserably because you let your thoughts and fears control and consume you alive? </em>
</p><p>And there, in that moment, while he was looking deep into Jisung's eyes as he felt his fingers going through his hair, he knew the answer for that.</p><p>He <em> knew </em> it <em> . </em></p><p>He felt really stupid for even thinking about running away from Jisung, for pondering if that could ruin their lives, for being afraid of losing their friendship. Because all the risks were worth it.</p><p>Because Jisung was <em> worth it </em>.</p><p>Chenle took his hands to Jisung's neck and without thinking twice started kissing the boy. </p><p>Jisung was caught by surprise, not quite expecting that the older boy would kiss him out of sudden, he but didn't even question it, only fixed his position by sliding a bit down to have their bodies on the same level, then took one hand to the boy's back, and the other to the back of his neck, entangling his fingers in the boy's hair. </p><p>It was a desperate kiss that felt like home. </p><p>Although only a few days passed after their first kiss, all the stress they went through made it feel like centuries, and now they were sure that they didn't want to live the past days ever again.</p><p>No more distance between them would be allowed, from now on.</p><p>Jisung ended the kiss and started tracing a line of kisses from the boy's chin to his Adam's apple.</p><p>Chenle's smell was beyond addictive to him, he made every little kiss last long so that he could enjoy the essence of the older boy, who had his eyes closed and head leaned back, concentrating only in feeling the warm chills running through his body.</p><p>Moments later Jisung laid next to him again, Chenle turned around until they were face to face, then smiled at the boy, who smiled back at him as he took his hand to Chenle's ear, massaging it delicately.</p><p>They didn't say anything for the next minutes, and it wasn't necessary, because their bodies were speaking way too much already.</p><p>The genuine happiness in their eyes, the serenity of their smiles, the way they were naturally entangled in bed as they shared caresses, it all spoke more than words.</p><p>Chenle crawled to Jisung's chest, then hugged the boy, resting his head on his collarbone, as he rubbed his cheek against his neck, like a little kitten wanting to be petted. Jisung giggled at the scene for a bit, as he grabbed the boy's hand, taking it to his lips, then pressing kisses to the boy's soft skin.</p><p>"Have I said that you're <em> painfully </em> cute today?" Jisung finally spoke.</p><p>Chenle chuckled as he drew imaginary things onto the boy's torax with his fingers.</p><p>"Yes, Jisung, you constantly say it." </p><p>"Because it's so true… like… you're really the prettiest thing in this world." </p><p>Chenle lifted his head and smirked at the boy</p><p>"You're too cheesy and exaggerated… Park Jisung!" </p><p>"You little!" </p><p>Jisung sat back almost making Chenle fall back onto the mattress but he caught him before he did, holding him by the waist, then sealed their lips again and carefully laid the boy onto the mattress, and sat on top of him. Chenle pulled the boy closer by the neck, kissing him harder as he scratched the back of his neck. </p><p>The atmosphere around them was warm filled with desire and passion. Just two boys enjoying themselves and discovering sensations, finding out what is like to be in love. </p><p>After a few moments they pulled apart, lying next to each other, staring at the ceiling. </p><p>"This friend of mine… Ya know, Stay Kids Felix… He told me something after I ranted to him about us, the other day — and that made me think a lot…"</p><p>"Um… wanna talk about it? Jisung said, still staring at the ceiling. </p><p>"He asked me…" the boy sighed as he spread his body over the bed, putting one leg onto Jisung's. "If I would rather be happy with you knowing that I'll have to deal with a few problems that might come with it, or be miserable far away from you, just to do what is 'correct'." </p><p>Jisung nothing said.</p><p>"That made me think a lot… Like, a lot, but I realised that even if I tried to be far away from you, I wouldn't be able to do that… it's stronger than me." Chenle turned his face to look at Jisung, seeing the boy's eyes smiling at him.</p><p>"I don't know what we will have to face to be together, but it really doesn't matter to me…" Jisung said, then moved closer, pressing his forehead to Chenle's. </p><p>"Because when you're with me I feel like home and thus — home is wherever you are, Chenle."</p><p>Jisung moved back a little to stare at Chenle, finding the boy with teary eyes. </p><p>"For fucks sake, Jisung!" He grabbed the boy by the collar, hiding himself inside of his arms, to make Jisung wrap his arms around him. </p><p>Jisung kissed the top of his head as he rubbed his back.</p><p>"We'll be okay, Lele."</p><p>"As long as we're together… yes, we will." Chenle lifted his head and smiled.</p><p>Jisung reached for his lips again, starting a calm and lazy kiss, that tasted like the ending of the afternoon and fresh breeze.</p><p>It was good, meaningful and memorable, it was all that mattered at that moment: how they felt when they were together.</p><p>Living day by day, building their new relationship one brick at time, with love and patience, enjoying the present because the past is dead and the future is unpredictable.</p><p>And like that they spent the rest of the afternoon, and many others, for a long time. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i apologise for any mistake </p><p>you can find me on <a href="https://twitter.com/sungleIe?s=09"> twitter  </a> and please feel free to send me a <a href="http://curiouscat.me/sungleIe"> ccat  </a> if you want to 🥺</p></blockquote></div></div>
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